Nottingham Whip 26th May 2007

The first full whip of the year took place this weekend in Nottingham. Although this was billed as a main whip many months ago, sadly two members could not be present. One member was lost through feeble excuses, the other through an extremely absent minded holiday booking. It is noted here on the blog that both reasons are not acceptable! Anyway, the proceedings started on the Friday (the warm up night) with a trip from the suburbs into Nottingham centre. Firstly a visit was made to Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, a fine public house which soon became the scene of blasphemous events. Upon entry one member of the party was openly ripped by the slightly stout Yeoman of the bar for wearing nothing other than a Tyketto T shirt. The heretic (aging dinosaur rocker) then launched a verbal assault on Danny Vaughn himself, together with a general rubbishing of all acoustic guitar music. Whilst the pub is both an unusual and interesting venue, it clearly is the home of unbelievers and should be approached with caution. Following a drink we moved onto the Salutation Inn. Upon entry, the ground floor was found to be a standard Nottingham establishment, however up stairs was a haven of rock. Friday night was Karaoke night, and much was talked about entry to sing a 'cock rock' number to the full audience of the Sal. Wisely and due to insufficient vocal ranges, no entry was made.

The Saturday saw the full whip proceedings, following a visit to a local building of historic interest. After the full appreciation of a bottle of Skyy vodka by the members of the whip (coupled with the usually caffine based energy drinks and 'cock rock' DvD), the party moved to Nottingham, starting this time with the Sal. Once again the upstairs was a rock haven, although this time with no Karaoke. Following a swift visit to the Tap 'n' Tumbler, entry was made into the city of rock. Music was varied but did incorporate a reasonable amount of 'cock rock' enabling the members to indulge in the usual ludicrous dancing and total loss of self respect. During the evening contact was made with an indirect whip victim of some 15 years ago. Whilst this individual did not attend the whip, they did have the (mis)fortune of meeting the whip members post whip, joining in with the drinking throughout the evening. This was the last time the individual was seen for 15 years. The mystery was solved however, when the facts were established. Following a collapse, hospitalisation and being 45 times over the legal limit, the individual involved was advised not to drink for a number of days unless death was desired. They then avoided alcohol for a number of years. This is clear evidence of how important the whip is in preparation for a night of binge drinking. One other notable event was the trial of a new Tyketto dance. Whilst still in development a new synchronised dance emerged incorporating many complex maneuvers requiring both concentration and agility. Further choreography is required, but early indications are that this new development is a direct result of extensive brain cell damage due to vodka abuse.